ODE TO A SHMUCK. Written and pictures by Bush Baby.

ODE TO A SCHMUCK

You KNEW I’d never been touched like that,

and what kind of a song choice afterwards –

Were you trying to be impressive??

Well CONGRATULATIONS, I would have been impressed by James Blunt

If he’d paid as much attention to my cunt.

Meanwhile I’m loving these b-list bond villain ultimatums:

I can

a) meet you for a drink

Or I can

b) fuck off?

………

??????

…….?????!!!!!??!!

ANYWAY

don’t fret –

You’ll always be my first

Schmuck.

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