ODE TO A SCHMUCK
You KNEW I’d never been touched like that,
and what kind of a song choice afterwards –
Were you trying to be impressive??
Well CONGRATULATIONS, I would have been impressed by James Blunt
If he’d paid as much attention to my cunt.
Meanwhile I’m loving these b-list bond villain ultimatums:
a) meet you for a drink
Or I can
b) fuck off?
don’t fret –
You’ll always be my first