Wanting. Enticing. Resisting. Hurting.
hurting. why can’t you see i’m hurting? why won’t you stop hurting me?
is it because i wanted? because i enticed? because i resisted?
do you like it when i resist? when you steal my control and fuck me- do you like it?
but it hurts me. it HURTS ME.
but i wanted it.
do i want it?
do i attract it?
does it influence everything i have done since?
does it determine the way i interact, the way i feel, the way i love?
can i love?
but i’m lifting, lifting, uplifting, freeing, freeing myself,
running, climbing, breaking, intoxicating, growing,
feeling, feeling the mud on my body, feeling friends wrapped around my body,
sharing, sharing freedom, sharing love.
but sharing love is hurting.
enticing is hurting but i have lost the power of resisting,
and i am hurting.